It was a good idea to start the essay off with a quote about how the ears work by transmitting sound. I think that helped give the reader a better understanding of how the concept of hearing works. Also, this introduces what you will be discussing in your essay so it leaves the reader with the desire to want to continue reading more.
Asking the reader questions is a good way to keep them interested in your essay. Instead of just writing what you feel about the sense of hearing and how it works, you give the reader an opportunity to become involved with your essay as well. This allows them to relate more with your topic and also to think about what the sense of hearing means to them. I think discussing about people who hear voices in their heads, such as with schizophrenia, was a good way to show the sense of hearing. This is something that probably not too many people think about on an every day basis, so it was nice to discuss a topic like this. You are definitely able to tell that you researched this material well. Using examples of real individuals who have dealt with this problem, was a good way to explain what really goes on when one hears these voices.
Overall, I think this was a pretty well constructed essay. There are some minor grammatical and punctuation errors that need fixed through out the essay. Also, if you can think of some more personal examples of things you have learned in your life about this topic that would be nice to add. You may also want to include a title to your essay.
