Peer Editing – Project 2

Candace,

 

            I really enjoyed reading your Touch essay.  Using diary entries was a great way to organize your story line.  The idea of doing your essay on domestic violence and abuse, showed a different side of the sense of touch that many people probably don’t think about on a regular basis.

            Your diary entries flowed easily for me while I was reading it.  Your entries all flowed well into each other.  I was also able to follow along well with the story line and how the narrator felt in the story.  I thought starting off with the definition of domestic violence was a great introduction to your diary.  The quotes and definitions you used worked well into your diary because they really went along with what you were saying.

            Overall, I think this was a well constructed essay.  There were some minor grammatical and punctuation errors that need fixed through out the paper.  Also, you need to cite the quotes and information you used in the text of your essay.  You included a works cited page; however, you did not cite what sources you used with the information in your essay.  Including a little more information on what kind of help your narrator received to helper her leaver her husband, would tie in well to your last diary entry.